Cool, but why should I hire you?

I'm reliable and dependable. I have a great blend of dark humor and sarcasm that keeps the groomsmen laughing and the right amount of "yaaaas girl" that the bridesmaids love. I know how to bounce a flash in a hotel room to make it look like we're getting ready in natural light. I'm not afraid to rearrange furniture. I will fix the train for you as many times as we need to. I will read off family member lists and go searching for them when need be. Don't feel like climbing into a bush to get a cool shot with greenery in the foreground? I got you. Need someone to hold your light stand at a crazy angle? Done. I will run around cocktail hour and take grip-and-grin photos of guests, table shots during the reception, and grab you snacks from cocktail hour if you'd like them. I'll also probably have snacks or a screwdriver in my bag. During the reception, I'll get on the dance floor, sing along with guests, teach someone how to do the Cupid Shuffle, and check in with you to make sure we're covering all of our bases.

Mostly, you should hire me because I'm an overachiever and I'm fun. Plus, if we have time, I'll show you cool photos from my trips or of dogs I love.